


Not What I Want

by Rinkafic



Series: Misc Fanfic [23]
Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-10
Updated: 2012-08-10
Packaged: 2017-11-11 20:48:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/482754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinkafic/pseuds/Rinkafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Done for Dark Bingo fill "Unrequited Pining"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not What I Want

When Nick Fury had brought him into the situation and introduced him to the others he was expected to work with, Steve had disliked Tony Stark on sight. He was arrogant, obnoxious and selfish, to name the top three things that set his teeth on edge.

There was also the sneaky thing, the barely legal, unpatriotic streak that Steve had observed in him. He was sure that one day he and Stark were going to have a big problem.

He wasn’t wrong, they had a big problem. More than one actually, and none of them had anything to do with governments or demi-gods or green men with anger issues. Steve doubted very much that Tony was aware of or even cared about the problems, as they were mostly rooted in Steve’s head.

Steve could not stop thinking about Tony Stark. Not Iron Man, he wasn’t really impressed by the suit, per se, but rather the genius that had designed and built it. There was no denying that Stark was brilliant, and that was the first thing that had drawn Steve’s interest. Little by little, as time went on and he learned more about the man, Steve found himself able to understand some of the reasons that Tony was the way he was, and in understanding, forgive and excuse some of the aspects of his personality that had bothered him at first.

This was his problem to resolve somehow, not Tony’s. Steve had never been attracted to a man before, and he slowly started to realize that his growing obsession and need to see Tony was indeed attraction, the same kind of fixation that he might have once had on a dame, back in the day. Stark confused him, made him wonder about himself, made him in turns disgusted and angry with himself for the thoughts he was having. Real men didn’t think about other men the way he was thinking about Tony. It went against everything he had been raised to believe. He knew things were a little different in the 21st century, but he was a man of his time.

Stark went about his business, carried on his days completely unaware of the turmoil he was causing in Steve. What made it more painful was that Steve was sure if Tony knew, if he had the slightest idea of how he felt that he would be just as angry and disgusted as Steve with himself. Tony was apparently involved with Pepper, the pretty blonde woman that Steve met on a few occasions when he went to the tower. He would not appreciate the affection, were he to know about it, of that Steve was certain.

During the day, he forced his thoughts aside, he had more important things to do and think about than this stupid man-crush he had on his… could he consider Tony a friend?

But at night, his dreams and his body betrayed him. His longings melded into fantasies of what might happen if he spoke up. He wondered what it would be like to kiss Tony, to hold a man the way he had never had the opportunity to hold a woman. When he woke, he was once again annoyed with himself and repulsed by his body’s betrayal of his determination to let this thing fade and die. He didn’t want to be like that, he didn’t want to be the kind of man that would lie with another man. This fundamental change to the way he thought about himself disturbed him greatly.

He couldn’t say anything; he had to learn to live with it, like he had learned to live with so many other things that were beyond even Captain America’s ability to change.

 

The End


End file.
